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Young woman stands on the platform as a subway train pulls into the station.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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Here's what this befuddled fellow had to ask before his first date, as he shared to r/williamsburg:
Do men commonly send Ubers to bring women to dates in Williamsburg?
Pause. Before we even dig into this story, ask yourself: have you ever done this for a date?
Perhaps you pay for their Uber home, right? If it's rainy or quite late at night, that's the gentlemanly thing to do, I suppose. It's a small price to pay for the comfort of knowing your date got home safe, and the date will feel especially cared about.
But listen. I'm qualified to speak on this topic as someone who lives in NY and goes on dates throughout the various boroughs. So let's see what this woman's demands were, and then we'll talk it through.
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Bustling New York City street.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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Here's what this guy shared:
I was talking to a woman (27F) for a few weeks, had been on 2 dates in Manhattan and FaceTimed a few times. I invited her to Williamsburg (my hood) for a brunch date, she said yes, and then asked how she’d get there and if i would send a car for her. I assumed this was a joke since she lives in Greenwich Village, so like 15-20 minutes away, so I laughed and said I had full faith in her to make it to Brooklyn.
Hmmm… Interesting…
So they already had 2 dates. He doesn't mention if she lives here or is a transplant. But all this leads to her being from afar. I get it, my first few years here, I was very nervous traveling outside of Manhattan because getting stranded in the middle of nowhere is a real possibility. The only way to assuage these fears is, in fact, to get stranded a few times, and realize that you can save yourself in this situation. Then, the next times it happens, it isn't so scary.
But this is so odd. They've already been out twice in Manhattan. If she doesn't like the location, maybe she should offer to buy appetizers if her date will come to her neighborhood. A compromise, right?
But instead, she did this.
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NYC subway train with the Freedom Tower in the background.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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She quickly called off the date and broke things off. Is this a common expectation of NYC dating? I could understand calling an Uber for my date at the end of the night, if it’s late, there are no good subways, etc. But for a daytime date when there’s an extremely easy subway trip makes no sense to me.
She called it off!
Brother, I think you saved yourself some heartache here. If your date doesn't want to travel or explore in NYC, then what is she even doing here?
This is just like an etiquette thing, too. But no one is responsible for getting you to or from your destination except for you. When you're leaving a dinner date or something, usually you and your date or friend will stand around with your phones out for a few minutes. You tell each other which subway or bus line you're taking, then you figure out which way you both need to walk, then you hug it out and say, “Text me when you get home.” Or, you call your Ubers and wait until the first one shows up, then part ways. But you wouldn't look to your date or friend and start pouting about having to return home. That's kind of your responsibility! If you didn't want to navigate your way back home, you could've just bailed on the plans. You can't make your date feel responsible for your own travel plans.
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Woman sits on her bed, packing her purse with makeup before leaving for a date.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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And, let's talk about the elephant in the room here. Unless you're going to the airport, or you hurt your foot or something, taking a car is one of the least effective methods of transport around these parts. Taking the subway or bus costs $3, and it's relatively reliable. You can also walk, or bike for fairly cheap, or even rent a Citibike or an electric scooter.
Meanwhile, if you take an Uber, you're in luxury I suppose, but you are going to be sitting in traffic, my friend. You are going to be in a for a sloooowwww ride. You'll watch as busses zip by you in the bus lane, and you'll realize that you paid 10x more to get to your destination 10x slower.
I looked up the route out of curiosity, and it turns out you can get from Greenwich Village to Williamsburg in under an hour. It takes between 21-35 minutes, depending on if you'd rather walk, or do a subway transfer. I cannot stress enough that most of us would consider that an extremely easy and convenient route, and I don't understand why the date seems so aggrieved by this.
But people did have a lot to say about why they think she's pulling this stunt:
A functioning adult living anywhere in NYC asking how they will get to another part of the city is wild to me.
That means they aren’t a functional adult.
Consider it a win, she showed you how entitled she was before the date.
I think a basic requirement is being able to show up on time at any place in nyc without assistance. Anyone that can’t manage that is not dating worthy
I agree that this woman was looking for something… maybe she wants a wealthy guy who will waste his money on the slowest, most expensive mode of travel for some reason? Or maybe she wants to be pampered with no questions asked? Maybe she really does just have a lot of anxieties around traveling outside of her borough?
But I can't help but think that this guy isn't missing out at all. He can easily find one of the other 8.5 million people living here, and ask them out instead.
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Man kisses his date on the cheek as they take a car ride together.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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